Families Change Teen Guide to Separation & Divorce

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There are lots of people around you who can help you cope with your parents splitting up. Sometimes, just talking to a friend can help a lot, especially if his or her parents have also split up.

You can also talk to an adult you trust, like:

  • A relative (an aunt or uncle, or your grandmother or grandfather)
  • Your teacher
  • Your school counsellor
  • Someone at your place of worship
  • Your family doctor.

These people can help by:

  • Just listening
  • Helping you to put things in perspective
  • Suggesting things you can do to make things better
  • Connecting you with other people who can help.

Q & A

Q:
My parents are splitting up. Why?
A:

There are many reasons why parents decide to split up. And with each couple, there might be one main reason, or a whole pile of reasons.

Parents usually try very hard to solve their problems before they take action. If you're not sure what your parents' reasons are for splitting up, you can always ask.

Q:
If my parents divorce, will the same thing happen to me?
A:

Many teens whose parents split up feel anxious about their own relationships in the future. But just because your parents split up doesn't mean the same thing will happen to you. What happens in your relationships will be up to you, not your parents!

Q:
Who decides who I will live with?
A:

Ideally, your parents will make the decisions together about who you will live with and how that will work. Your opinion should be taken into account.

If they can't decide themselves, they might go to a mediator for help in reaching an agreement. Or they might have to go to court and have a judge make the decisions for them.

Q:
Do I have to take sides, or choose one parent over the other?
A:

No, you don't. You have the right to love and be loved by both parents.

If you are feeling pressured to take sides, and you feel you are caught in the middle of your parents' problems, tell them.

Q:
I really feel like I need some help. Who should I ask?
A:

There are lots of people around you who can help. Tell your parents, teacher, school counsellor, family doctor or another adult you trust.

If you aren't getting the help you think you need, keep asking until you get it.